Logic thinking and syntax rules are important factors in English-Chinese translation. They can affect the quality of translation works. Let’s see some sentences:
1 The company was founded at a university laboratory in 2006 by Professor X and his graduate students of Department of Food and Biotechnology, H University in Korea. Professor X has been involved in many researches and projects on natural food processing for more than 17 years.
(1) 该公司由x教授和他在 H 大学的食品与生物技术系的研究生们一起于2006年成立于大学实验室内。Chae教授曾参与众多天然食品加工的研究和项目超过17个年头。
(2) 该公司成立于 2006 年,位于大学实验室内,由 X 教授与他在 H 大学食品与生物技术系的研究生一起创立。在过去的 17 年里,Chae 教授曾参与多个天然食品加工研究项目。
There are two problems in the translation, confused logic order and poor syntax structure. The first sentence has no logic relations with the second one and the structure of “曾参与…,研究和项目超过 17 个年头” does not confirm to the linguistic habit of Chinese language. In Chinese, the logic order should be: founded in 2006 – at a university laboratory – founded by X professor and his students – Professor X involved in … 17 years
2 NC only uses fresh fruits grown in certified eco-friendly farms in Korea and freeze-dry them to make the premium ‘Fruit Crunch’: 100% Natural Fruits.
(1) NC 只采用在韩国有生态环保认证的农场内出产的新鲜水果为原料,然后冷冻干燥它们以保证这些“水果干”源自百分之百的纯天然水果。
(2) NC 只采用经认证的韩国生态环保农场出产的新鲜水果,对其进行冷冻干燥,以制作源自百分百纯天然水果的优质“水果干”。
The syntactic structure“只采用在…有…的…内出产的…为原料,然后…它们以保证”is not a fluent and clean sentence in Chinese due to its redundant words and disordered sentence structure. To make the translation more clear and fluent, some redundant words should be deleted and the logic order adjusted.
3 Over the next five years the goal of NC is to become a global leading company in the healthy snack market with our state of art freeze-drying and minimum processing technology. NC will provide our consumers with the natural goodness of fruit, convenient and healthy snacks.
(1) NC 在未来5年的目标是通过使用我们先进的冷冻干燥和最小化处理技术成为在健康零食市场内全球领先的公司。NC会为我们的顾客提供源自纯天然水果的便捷与健康的零食。
(2) NC 未来 5 年的目标是:凭借先进的冷冻干燥和最小化加工技术,成为健康零食市场的全球领先公司,为客户提供方便、健康的纯天然水果小食。
Read Also: Imperative Sentences in C-E Translation
The first sentence and the second one do not have internal logic meaning in the original translation. We have to first make clear the logic meaning of the source language, then transform the logic meaning in appropriate Chinese form. In the above paragraph, both “become a global leading company” and “provide our consumers with the natural goodness of fruit” are the two goals of the company, so we can combine the two sentence into one.
4 Green-colored characters and yellow-green leaf of BI express the eco-friendly philosophy of the company and its organic products, which consider environment and health as the most important.
(1) BI的绿色字符与黄绿色的叶子表示了公司的环保理念与以环境和健康为最重要考虑的有机产品。
(2) BI 的绿色字符与黄绿色叶子表达了公司的环保理念,突出了公司的有机产品,此类产品将环境和健康视为最重要的事项。
The syntactic structure of the translated sentence is “叶子表示了…的环保理念与…的有机产品”, which is unacceptable in Chinese. “表示环保理念”is OK, but “表示有机产品”is completely wrong. What’s more, “叶子”(leaf) is just an element of a plant, which cannot “表示” something.
5 Not fried with cooking oils but freeze-dried at a low temperature, it is a 100% pure natural fruit crunch without any additive As it is freeze-dried, the health snack contains sweet-and-sour flavor, natural dietary fiber, mineral and natural vitamins of Korean fruits as they are.
(1) 不用烹饪油油炸,仅通过低温冷冻干燥,100%纯天然水果干,不含任何添加剂。由于它是冷冻干燥的,这种健康零嘴包含韩国水果常有的糖醋味、天然膳食纤维、矿物质和天然维生素。
(2) 非油炸的低温冷冻干燥 100% 纯天然水果干,不含任何添加剂。运用冷冻干燥技术,它们保持了韩国水果常有的酸甜口感,同时富含天然膳食纤维、矿物质和天然维生素。
In the original translation, the phrase “a 100% pure natural fruit” is put parallel with “Not fried with cooking oils” and “freeze-dried at a low temperature”, it’s not the case in the source language. In fact, “a 100% pure natural fruit” is the major meaning of the sentence with the other two as its modifiers. Moreover, fruits have no “糖醋味”, but “酸甜味”.
6 Freeze-drying (FD) technique, designed especially for foods which are vulnerable at high temperature, freezes foods quickly below 40C°before drying at moderately low temperature. It is one of the most advanced food storage technologies reducing the destruction of the food’s odors, nutrition and flavors.
(1) 冷冻干燥(FD)技术,设计用于在高温下易受损食物,在适度的低温干燥前将食物的温度迅速冷冻到40C°以下。
(2) 冷冻干燥 (FD) 技术,专门针对高温下容易变质的食物,在合适的低温下将其干燥,然后将食物快速冷冻至 40C° 以下。
Logic order here: time order. In Chinese, it should be “先…,,然后…”, not “在…前将…”. In addition, Instead of “在高温下易受损食物” we usually use “易变质食物” in Chinese.
From the above example, we can see that logic thinking and good comprehension and mastering of syntactic rules should be the basic requirements for translators.