Translation is a recreating process, the purpose of which is not just converting the information, but more importantly, making the translation more readable, if not artistic. Here I outline some principles that I summarized during translation and give some examples that I came across lately to demonstrate how important being readable it is to translation. As in those examples, the first line is the sentence to be translated, the second sentence is the original translation, the third sentence is the revised translation (Just for reference).
1. Minimize unnecessary modified words of the sentence, as long as it can convey the original meaning.
1) We expect to continue to offer flexibility in work location to minimize the need for relocation whenever possible.
我們期待繼續提供工作位置的靈活性,盡可能把重新安置的需要減少到最低程度。
我們期待在工作地點上繼續提供靈活性,盡可能減少重新安置的必要。
2) In general, business will continue as usual.
總體而言,業務將像往常那樣繼續進行。
總體而言,業務將照常繼續進行。
3) By tomorrow, all announcements and organization charts will be posted on Ecolab Express and on Nalco’s Integration SharePoint site, so that they are broadly accessible.
明天,所有的通知和機構圖將在藝康和納爾科的整合“共享點”(SharePoint)網站上公佈,以便讓廣大員工都可以查看。
截至明天,所有的公告和機構圖將在藝康和納爾科的整合「共享點 (SharePoint)」網站上公佈,以便廣大員工查看。
4) And that’s a good thing, because all of us need to stay focused on keeping our business running smoothly and serving our customers well.
這是一件好事,因為我們所有的人都需要聚精會神地保證我們的業務順利開展,並把客戶服務工作做好。
這是一件好事,因為我們都需要專注於保證我們業務的順利開展,並做好客戶服務工作。
Read Also: How to improve readability of your translation
2. Use expressing ways that are familiar to readers of target language, just literally translate every word would make the translation awkward.
1) If my position is redeployed to another location, what happens if I choose to accept?
如果我的職位被重新安排在另一位置,我如果接受會發生什麼?
如果我被調動到另一地點的工作崗位,我選擇接受會怎麼樣?
2) These decisions and subsequent conversations will be conducted individually once the new organizational structure is known.
新機構的結構確定後,這些決定和隨後的談話將單獨作出和安排。
新的組織構架確定後,公司將單獨作出決定並安排隨後的談話。
3) As we near the close of the planned merger between Ecolab and Nalco, the excitement and momentum within our organizations are building.
在藝康和納爾科的合併計劃接近完成時,我們的機構正變得更鼓舞人心和更強大。
隨著當藝康和納爾科的合併計劃接近完成,我們的機構正變得更鼓舞人心和更強大。
4) Additionally, through this document, you will be asked to participate in an escalation process, which will consist of closely tracking any customer issues resulting from the merger on or after Day 1, through the use of the Shared Service Virtual Day 1 Collaboration Room.
此外,透過“共享服務虛擬第一天協作室”的使用,本文件將請你參加一個升級過程,該過程將由密切跟蹤在“第一天”及其後因合併而產生的客戶問題組成。
此外,使用「共享服務虛擬第一天協作室」,您將可以透過本文件參與一個升級過程,該過程包括密切跟進「第一天」或隨後合併產生的客戶問題。
(To be continued)