Accuracy and readability are two curtail factors for high quality translation. If your translation is ambiguous or awkward for the readers of the target language, they maybe have no idea of what you want to convey. Of course, such translation is not up to standard.
Here are some approaches to improve readability of your translation
1) Familiarize you with special terminology of specific field.
You have to read materials pertaining to your desired field as many as possible to familiarize you with special terminology; otherwise your translation may read childish.
For example:
Source: Cytec Engineered Materials Proposal | Long-Term Agreement
Old: Cytec 工程材料建议|长期协议
Modified: Cytec Engineered Materials 提案|长期协议
Source: Primary and secondary structure composites as prepregs or resin infusion systems
Old: 作为预浸料或树脂灌注系统的一级和二级结构复合材料
Modified: 预浸料或树脂转移系统,用于主承力和次承力结构的复合材料
2) Avoid colloquial translation
Please always try to be formal and precise. Colloquial translation may compromise the readability.
For example:
Source: Thank you for your continued patience as we prepare to deliver the Apple OS X Lion compatible i1Profiler D2LionEdition software for your use with either an i1Display LT or i1Display 2 device.
Old: 在xxx准备推出我们的 Apple OS X Lion 兼容 i1Profiler D2LionEdition 软件,供您与 i1Display LT 或 i1Display 2 配合使用的过程中,我们衷心感谢您的持续耐心等待。
Modified: xxx即将推出 Apple OS X Lion 兼容的 i1Profiler D2LionEdition 软件,我们非常感谢您在软件筹备期间的耐心等待,该款软件可用于 i1Display LT 或 i1Display 2 设备。
3) Avoid word for word translation
Word for word translation is not acceptable because the syntax between English and Chinese is different widely.
Source: This group has made significant progress in developing more efficient, higher quality manufacturing processes for high volume applications.
Old: 该组织在为高容量应用开发更高效、更高质量的制造流程中取得了巨大的进步。
Modified: 为满足高产量需求,该组织在开发更高效、更高质量的制造工艺中取得了巨大的进步。
4) Avoid overusing modifiers
Please avoid overuse modifiers such as “的”.
Source: The speaker will moderate a panel discussion at this conference on innovation in the legal services supply chain.
Old: 报告人在这次会议上将主持就法律服务供应链的创新而进行的小组讨论。
Modified: 演讲嘉宾将在本次会议上针对法律服务供应链中的创新事宜主持专门小组讨论。
5) Eliminate wordiness or redundancy
Source: just get the singles individually.
Old: 单独欣赏个别单曲
Modified: 只欣赏个别单曲
6) Try to use active voice
Source: It will only be copy.
Old: 只会被复制。
Modified: 只会复制这些资料。
7) Read through your translation after finishing it.
It is very important to read through the translation before you deliver it to PM or the client. Such procedure can make sure your translation is just like written by a native Chinese speaker, not a “translation”.
Read Also: Trans – Translators should always keep in mind the purpose of translation