I have been in linguist department for three weeks, though there is a long way to go, I firmly believe that I can be a capable translator one day only if I keep in learning.

Here I have listed some sentences from my projects, to keep a queen eye on the difference and learn how to improve the translation level.

1, some of your values were changed because they were invalid.

Edited version:部分值无效,因此已进行更改。

My version:您的部分值已更改,因为该值无效。

Analysis:”your value” is not necessarily translated into “您的”,in some cases, “your” and “you” has no real meaning, but that they are there for grammar functions.

2, This page can not be deleted until all of it’s branches are removed

Edited version:删除所有页面分支后,方可删除本页面。

My version:删除本页面的所有页面分支后,方可删除本页面。

Analysis:”本页面” is repeated in my version, as it is indicated in the latter part of the sentence, so it is no need to put in the former part.

3, This page can not be deleted because it is the last page in the survey

Edited version:由于本页面是调查末页,所以无法删除。

My version:由于本页面是调查的最后一页,所以不能删除本页面。

Analysis: Two differences: One is “本页面” is repeated twice like the above example. The other is “can not” should be translated into “无法” rather than “不能” in IT field.

Read Also: Contrast Analysis on Translation version and Edited Version II

4, This page cannot be deleted until the branches on the previous page have been deleted.

Edited version:删除上一页的页面分支后,才能删除本页面。

My version:删除上一页面的页面分支后,方可删除本页面。

Analysis: tiny difference on “previous page” translated into “上一页” rather than “上一页面”.

5, We have created a new page for you.

Edited version:我们已为您创建了新页面。

My version:我们已为您创建了新的页面。

Analysis: the word “的” is not often used in IT field and not necessary here.

6, This question cannot be deleted until the branches on the previous page have been deleted.

Edited version:删除上一页的页面分支后,才能删除此问题。

My version:删除上一页面的页面分支后,方可删除此问题。

Analysis: the same reason as stated in Example 4.

7, That question cannot be deleted from this survey.

Edited version:不可从调查中删除该问题。

My version:不可删除调查中的该问题。

Analysis: As far as I am concerned, both two versions are ok, but that it sounds not so natural in Chinese for my version.

8, The questions have been added to the end of this page of your survey. Edited version:本问题已添加至调查的该页末端。

My version:本问题已添加至调查中本页的末端。

Analysis: the same reason as above example.

9, Please correct any errors shown below.

Edited version:请更正下方显示的任何错误。

My version:请更正下方的任何错误。

Analysis:”shown below” is missing in my version.

10, Adding branches to this page will cause a new page to be created after this page

Edited version:向本页面添加分支会导致在本页面后创建新的页面

My version:添加本页面的页面分支会导致在本页面后创建新的页面。

Analysis: the order of the edited version is more logical.

TO BE CONTINUED