Conciseness might include get rid of the may or may not be needed words, omit the translation of some words, or reduce some exaggeration modifiers.
These examples below address the importance of conciseness in translation.
- 吸烟是他的习惯，对他的健康损害很大。
Translation: Smoking, his habit, has done considerable harm to his health.
Analysis: It is not concise enough if we translate this sentence into “smoking, which is his habit”.
- 他们你一句，我一句，说个没完。
Translation: They talked on and on.
Analysis: “without stop” could be unnecessary words here.
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- 我们的目的，一定能够达到。
Translation: Our goal will be attained.
Analysis: “certainly” seems to emphasize the tone here, but as a matter of fact, this word can weaken the tone.
- 这些问题就是他提出的关于美国政治制度的问题。
Translation: These are his questions on the American Political system.
Analysis: Try to compare this with “These questions are the ones he raised on the American Political system.” the latter is much repetitive.
- 你们的计划要进行调整。
Translation: Your plan will have to be adjusted.
Analysis: In order to melody the balance, some words are added, but actually, they are of no actual significance. Such as “进行” in this sentence, it is meaningless here.
Read Also: ACCURACY IN CHINESE-ENGLISH TRANSLATION
- 我们应大力加快经济改革的步伐。
Translation: We should make great effort to accelerate the pace of economic reform.
Analysis: The “make great effort” here is unnecessary, we like to use “努力，竭力”, but it is not common to see “make great effort to do sth.” in English. In order to achieve for something, to “make effort” is so natural, so to write out this is needless. “加快经济改革步伐” can’t be translated as “to accelerate the pace of economic reform” either, because “to accelerate” means “to increase the pace of…”. Thus, “我们应大力加快经济改革的步伐” can be translated as:
We should accelerate economic reform.
- 我国去年农业取得大丰收。
Translation: Our country saw good harvests in agriculture last year.
Analysis: here, “in agriculture” is needless here, because “harvest” itself contains a meaning of “农业丰收”.
8. 我们目前的主要任务就是很好地推广和应用科研成果。
Translation: Our principle task at present is to do a good job in disseminating and applying the results of scientific and technological research.
Analysis: Another Chinglish again, “to do a good job” is not necessary here, since it is “promote and apply”, it has a imply meaning of “to do a good job”.
- 我们应该记住老一辈科学家们为成功研制“两弹”而努力奋斗的那些日日夜夜。
Translation: We should keep in mind these days when scientists of the older generation successfully developed the atomic and hydrogen bombs.
Analysis: “successfully” is a unnecessary word here, since it has developed, then it must be successful. Many of such kind of expression in Chinese such as “成功建造了”，“成功召开了”，“成功举办了”， “successfully” is always omitted in English translation.
- 你要母鸡多生蛋，又不给它米吃，又要马儿跑得快，又要马儿不吃草。世界上哪有这样的道理。
Translation: You want the hen to lay more eggs, and yet don’t feed it; you want the horse to run fast, and yet you don’t let it graze. What kind of logic is that?
Analysis: “世界上” is omitted here, it is more powerful to omit this.
- 历史是不会再重演的。
Translation: History will not repeat itself.
Analysis: the “再” in the Chinese source is repetitive, only for melody the balance of this sentence, and the prefix “re-” has the meaning of “again, one more time, once more”, so “again” can not be used here. There are many of such sentences in Chinese, such as: 他今年没考上大学，决定再复读一年。
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