A Case Study

In some marketing localization project, translator have to pay special attention to the richesness of the words. besides, we have to be subject to the reader, audience or customer.

Here we take a medicine marketing website as a example:

original translation:
Our sole purpose is to ensure you and your family’s well being and peace of mind, through pro-active guidance and priority access to the finest healthcare and wellness professionals.我们的唯一目标就是，通过积极主动的指导和优先提供最佳的医疗保健专业人士服务，确保您和家人幸福安康，安枕无忧。Because the reader is patients or “you”, so we should use “您”instead of “我们”，changing “提供”into”获得”，so it can be translated into:

我们致力于为您提供积极指导，让您优先接受最佳医疗保健专业人士提供的服务，确保您和家人幸福安康。

Seeing the edited sentence,we can see its advantage to the original translation at the first glance. The edited sentence should be more appreciated by reader, they can feel its affinity and it is more nature to the original translation. So we should consider this situation in translation, especially when the project is relevant to marketing. In order to deeper our outstanding, here is another example:

When required, we arrange priority access to the finest healthcare professionals.我们可在您需要时让您优先获得顶级医疗保健专业人士提供的服务。From the above sentences, we can see that reader would definitely more appreciate the second translation, “优先为您服务”is more sound than ”让您优先获得”.thinking you are a reader, you can recognize its goodness.

Read Also: The Translation of Advertisements

The other topic I want to discuss is briefness. I was considering briefness is deleting unwanted”的”,”了”,”您” etc. but today I found that it’s far beyond that.At all times we maintain a pro-active, personal focus; guiding and supporting you, while providing all the right connections to ensure your complete well being and peace of mind.我们始终保持积极主动，重视个人需求；为您提供指导和支持，同时提供所有需要的联系方式，确保您拥有完全良好的健康状态，能够安枕无忧。At all times we maintain a pro-active, personal focus; guiding and supporting you, while providing all the right connections to ensure your complete well being and peace of mind.我们始终保持积极的态度，以客户为中心；为您提供指导和支持，帮助您联络到合适的医疗保健提供者，确保您身心安康。

We can see that “确保您拥有完全良好的健康状态”was changed into”确保您身心安康”, as a Chinese,i of course can recognize that the two clause has same meaning,but when it come to translation, I was bindint to the English text, so I was focus how to express the exact meaning out and forget to keep it brief,so here I conclude that when we translated a sentence we should read it silently to appreciate its meaning and rethinking if it is as brief as possible, if we can do that, the quality of translation would be lifted into a higher level!